found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize