Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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