haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
