I wanna passion pit in your ass
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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