Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
