Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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