There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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