We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize