Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
