Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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