Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think I died a long time ago.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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