She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
