There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
