So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
