I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
