I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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