Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
