I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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