I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
