my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
