I'm lost and stupid without you.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
