I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
