Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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