Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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