bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize