Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
