It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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