I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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