I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
