why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Randomize
