You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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