what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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