nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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