we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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