If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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