Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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