And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
