So drunk its hurt
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
