We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
