yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
