Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
