There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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