So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
