it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
