I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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