Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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