A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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