i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
