you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
