what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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