You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
where am i from again
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
