You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
