oh god the rape fog is back!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Panties = found
Randomize
