Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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