A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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