she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
