I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
