the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize