Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize