My first STD was from a foam party
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
