Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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