You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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