Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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