You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize