She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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