I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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