I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
