I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
