Do you still have your period?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Randomize
