His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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