We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
