meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My hand turned me down
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
