We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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