We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
