I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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